


would things be easier if there was a right way (honey, there is no right way)

by ambrosespellmanz



Category: Katy Keene (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, I just really wanted to write something for them, LGBTQ Character of Color, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:53:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24577867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambrosespellmanz/pseuds/ambrosespellmanz
Summary: Josie doesn’t mean to sleep with Alexandra. That’s what she tells herself the first time around anyway.
Relationships: Alexandra Cabot/Josie McCoy
Kudos: 4





	would things be easier if there was a right way (honey, there is no right way)

Josie doesn’t mean to sleep with Alexandra. That’s what she tells herself the first time around anyway.

Alexander has been gone for fifteen days but it feels like so much longer. 

Xandra is always there when she’s at Chubby’s. The first five days, they barely spoke to each other. Xandra would go right to the studio to record songs that aren’t _hers_ and Josie shuts the door to block out the noise.

One day, Xandra comes in, a nervous look in her eyes.

Josie pretends she doesn’t notice her standing there until the girl clears her throat and it’s obvious their silent vow to leave each other alone no longer stands.

“Yes?”

“I went to see Alex today. He waited me to tell you that he misses you.”

Josie loves Alex, she does. But her mom was right, the worrying never goes away. She doesn’t want that for herself.

“How is he?”

“Better.”

“Good.”

&

It’s the loneliness. That’s how Xandra ends up in bed with Josie. 

Her friends just use her for her excess and access to parties. Her last name carries a lot of power.

Lately, she just hasn’t been in the partying mood.

Alex would’ve understood because they get each other and she thinks Josie gets it too. _The loneliness._

The only time she doesn’t feel that way is when she’s with Josie.

&

Alexandra gasps loudly and Josie whispers for her to be quiet. Her roommates were asleep when she snuck Xandra in and she didn’t want to risk waking them up.

A cousin or something was staying with Xandra while she was in town so they couldn’t go there like they normally did.

They’ve been good at keeping this just between them. 

Josie doesn’t care about them judging her for it, she’s already made peace with it in her mind.

She just doesn’t want to answer the questions they’ll ask if they ever find out. 

She knows what this is and Xandra does too. That’s all she cares about.

&

“He asks about you a lot.”

Alex has been in rehab for twenty five days. She visits him every day and, each time, he brings up Josie.

It irked her in the beginning, like that was the only thing he cared about. But she gets it. He _loves_ her.

Josie’s back is to her as she slides her arms into the sleeves of her sweater so Xandra can’t see her reaction.

“He told me you visited him the other day.”

Xandra tries her best to refrain from talking about Alex, but his presence is becoming more difficult to ignore as he reaches 30 days of sobriety.

She hears Josie sigh before the girl turns to look at her, propping her knee up and resting her chin on it.

“What do you want me to say, Xandra? Yes, I went to see him. I still care about him.”

Xandra runs a hand through her hair, hating the pang of jealousy she feels. She presses her lips together as she tries to come up with a reply that won’t betray her feelings.

“Are you going to tell him when he gets out?”

Josie shrugs, not directly meeting Xandra’s eyes, “I don’t know.”

&

Josie draws a star in the right corner of the page. Her case of writer’s block seemed to be gone. She’d talk to Pepper and get in the studio to record it.

The cold wind makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and she pushes her braids to the back, wishing that she had brought a scarf with her.

She needed a minute alone to clear her head and there was no better place to do that than the lighthouse.

Her and Xandra were never going to last, that’s one of the reasons she didn’t stop after the first time.

She wouldn’t have to worry about Xandra pressuring her to commit or convince her that they could have a real relationship.

There was a ticking time clock on their affair and it was almost up.

She had no idea what to do after that. She couldn’t– _wasn’t going to_ –get back with Alexander but she didn’t want to keep this from him either.

With her luck, he’d find out somehow anyway so she’d rather tell him herself and avoid the drama. 

Her vibrates and she picks it up to see a two word text from Alexandra.

**come over**

&

Alexandra’s hands trail up Josie’s side, dipping underneath her shirt. 

Josie shivers beneath her, fingers splayed across Xandra’s back. 

Day 34. Her dad told her that the staff at the rehab center were going to release Alexander. 

She was relieved of course. She couldn’t wait to have him back. Alexandra just wanted to see Josie one more time. 

Tomorrow, they’d go back to hating each other and being enemies. Or, acquaintances at best.

For now, Alexandra kisses her way down Josie’s stomach and forgets about everything else. 

&

_I just wanna breathe_  
_Sometimes I just wanna get away, yeah_  
_Breathe_

Someone knocks on the window and Josie opens her eyes to see Alex and Xandra standing next to Pepper.

She knew he was getting out soon and had emotionally prepared herself to see him again, but she thought he’d at least call first before showing up.

She removes the headphones and places them on the pole connecting the microphone to the ceiling.

Josie leaves the booth, feeling a bit awkward as she stands across from the three of them.

Pepper excuses herself, quickly dashing up the stairs but Xandra remains in her spot.

Josie clears her throat, forcing an even tone, “Hi, Alex.”

He smiles, “Hey, Josie.”

He moves forward to hug her and it takes herself a minute to return the embrace. His touch is a bit unfamiliar and too different from the one she’s become used to.

Josie shakes it off, throwing her arms around his shoulders and tucking her chin into his shoulder.

“I missed you.”

Josie swallows deeply as she meets Alexandra’s eyes, “I missed you too.”


End file.
